Many of us hold an enormous library of knowledge as we today have access to an unlimited amount of resources through the internet. We know so much, and I find this to be great. It is important though, that we take the time to deeply experience and integrate our knowledge.
What happens when we don’t take the time, is that we get to much at once – it is as eating to much food – we get stuffed up and can’t digest it probably. By then we actually can’t use nor gain any benefits from the knowledge. When we’re merely holding the knowledge in our heads, we’ll often find ourselves knowing what is the right thing to do, yet doing something else. That in turn reignites the confusion and self-hatred, and damages our system.
For years I lived like that. I studied very hard and remember being very confused, as I simply couldn’t understand nor accept why I wasn’t able to do it right. I actually ended up concluding that I simply was extraordinary weak and stupid. After some years, playing out this pattern, I realized that I had to try a new strategy and it was how yoga became a part of my life. When practicing yoga regularly I felt really good. It was clear that my body and mind calmed down. My awareness expanded and for the first time ever, I was able to deeply experience and integrate knowledge.
Recently my Guru and Yoga teacher R. Sharath Jois said: “It has to grow within you” as he was referring to the yogic wisdom – what we in the Western world tend to call spirituality. And I can’t find any words to be more accurate, as this is exactly what I’ve come to learn from my own life experience.
When we’re holding knowledge, we may understand it and then intend to live it. But as we try to do so we’ll often fall short. Not because we’re stupid, but simply because it isn’t integrated. And when knowledge isn’t integrated we can’t master living it for more than a short period of time. It is only by experiencing and letting the qualities grow within us, that we’ll able to live and practice the knowledge in our everyday life.
And it’ll take some time for the qualities to grow. It is like a plant, and I believe that our job is to have faith in the process. Having faith also means being gentle and honest with ourselves. Many things are easy to understand, but yet difficult to practice. And we really don’t have to pretend that we are capable of more than we actually are. We’re all completely okay wherever we are. The only thing that truly matters is the process. Lets stay open, honest and loving to ourselves, as this is what make the path smooth and flowing.
It has to grow within us, and maybe that is why I love the daily practice of yoga.