A few days ago my husband Calvin and I arrived in Mysore, India where we’re studying Ashtanga Yoga at KPJAYI.
India is beautiful. So sacred and special. That said, India is also completely different from Europe and from everything I’ve ever seen or experienced. And honestly that scared me a lot. I have to deal with the part of me that seeks safety and wants to be in control. (Yeah, I have that persona too.)
For the last couple of days I’ve gone through a profound process. I’m surrendering to Mother India. I figured out that I have to do so in order to be safe.
The traffic here is crazy – people don’t seem to even register the presence of car lanes – and in many places there are no lanes at all. Instead, you just use the horn when overtaking. You’ll find plenty of cars, scooters and bicycles all over – stopping, crossing, honking, turning around and so on. To me it seems crazy.
This is just one thing, I can mention plenty of other things which are completely different from Europe:
There’s no toilet paper – only water to rinse
No fork, spoon or knife – you eat with your fingers
The power goes out 3-8 times a day
Sacred cows that walk freely around in the streets
As a tourist you can’t drink the water or you’ll get really sick
There’s dirt all over – even in the restaurants
You get the picture of what it’s like?
The first night we went out, I was shocked, scared … and very tired.
When we came back to our hotel room I could feel how the anxiety, homesickness, loneliness and the urge to control everything and everyone around me, emerged from the “unknown”. I cried.
For a couple of days I felt miserable, insecure and alone. And I couldn’t even deny it. Ffinally I was in India and all I felt was a deep longing for the safety of my native Denmark and well known routines. I had to feel it all, go through it and then learn from it.
So I did… and I am still learning (that’s part of why I’m here).
What I’ve learned so far is that I have to surrender in order to be safe. And wow – that’s a huge insight for me – at least for the part of me who wants to be in control.
Through the past three years of working with clients I’ve seen and experienced myself how surrendering helps you access your inner wisdom, your inner power – your soul.
Miracles happen when we surrender through conscious, emotional or physical work. I know that, in every cell of my body. But what I haven’t seen and experienced, until three days ago, is how surrendering is a vital and truly important element in feeling safe (and actually being safe).
If I decide to (try to) control – follow the rules and the world views I know from my native country – I’ll feel no safety here, and I might actually be at risk that someone will run me over.
So I have to surrender to India and its inhabitants. I have to surrender to the Nature of India and as I’m doing so, I’m surrendering to my own soul. I must let go of all need to control or know. I must surrender in order to be safe – in order to “survive” physically, emotionally and spiritually. I must learn the rules of the indians.
And I must give up every thought or belief I have about me being right and them being wrong.
When I do that, though I actually feel pretty good. I’m experiencing and exploring new territory, within as well as without. I receive love, smiles, all kinds of help, and at this point I feel like I’m expanding my being.
How about you? Where do you need to surrender? To let go and let God?
I now invite you to take a few minutes – breathe deeply, close your eyes, feel your center… Ahhhh… and then consciously feel and look into the different areas of your life.
I’ll give you some examples here:
- Relationships – do you need to accept more deeply, to connect more lovingly or is it simply time to let go and end the relationship?
- Your work – do you have stuff to clean up, to consciously look at or maybe you some tasks to let go of? If the energy isn’t there – please let go. Only tasks felt and done from the heart are worth working for.
- Small details – like laundry, dirty dishes, clean shoes etc.?
- Discussions (maybe even old discussions) – you being right and them being wrong? Is it time to surrender, let go and then see the truth behind it?
- Emotions – like anger, resentment, guilt?
- Mental chatter – worries, self-hatred, old beliefs?
So often we hold on to things way too long. We stay stuck and block the flow of refreshing new energy and inspiration.
Trust me – when you surrender, you’ll gain access to a whole new world – your soul and what I call ‘True Safety’.
Namaste Phoebe
